Press Play

Sometimes in life we have to hit the pause button. Particularly being a fairly ambitious, wannabe overachieving twenty-something American, my life tends to move pretty quickly with very little time left to just, well, live. I am a constant planner, obsessively planning things just for fun: vacations, parties, lessons. I don’t cope well with doing nothing. Then something happens that makes us stop in our tracks and remember that it is ok to just stand still for a while.

Rewind to a little over a month ago. I, having just now felt comfortable with my job duties decided it was time to extend my responsibilities. I wanted to get involved in my community and in local politics. I joined a couple of organizations and before I knew it I was set to be the coordinator for all of the colleges and universities in San Antonio for a particular candidate for governor. I was back to my NYC mode: constantly checking emails, voicemails, Twitter updates, Facebook posts, everything. I would get home from working a full day at the center and spend another four to five hours researching and doing work for my new political role. This is the kind of stuff I lived for.

Then my Grams got diagnosed with cancer.

It is still kind of weird to say it out loud. Even though we have received promising news from the doctors, it wasn’t that difficult to decide that I should slow down a little and enjoy life and just press pause for a minute. I stepped down from my college coordinator role and (as you may or may not have noticed) stopped writing for a while. I didn’t want to think about my life, didn’t want to analyze it, I just wanted to live it. I wanted to be free to take care of my Grams if she would need it. I wanted to be available to my family should I need to step up my personal responsibilities. I didn’t want to have to rearrange my “schedule” to spend time with my Grams. My mom flew in from DC to come back home indefinitely while all of this is going on and I wanted to be near and spend time with my family.

So that is where I have been for the past six to eight weeks. Contrary to popular belief, I have not spent the last month and a half mourning the end of my favorite show Lost (though I do get kind of sad on Tuesday nights when I flip to ABC and realize it is not coming on). This is the first time I have written in a long time and it feels good to be back. I feel now that it is ok for me to write again, even if I don’t have a specific agenda in mind. I feel encouraged that (according to wordpress anyway) that people have still stopped by to check in and see if I had updated my blog lately. Thanks guys, I appreciate that.

This break was much needed, but I am ready to press play.

PS: Last week, my mom, dad, uncle and grandfather celebrated Grams’ 69th birthday with delicious barbecue, cake and ice cream. The next day she got her latest test results back that gave us the green light for a promising surgery (most often with her form of cancer, by the time it is detected it is inoperable and incurable). Grams is doing well and is scheduled for surgery on July 27th. 🙂

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